Southeast Missouri Child Baby Senior Photography | Stephanie Greenwell Photography

This post has been a long time coming, and I feel the need to share what I’m about to type since I’ve recently seen and talked about child car seat safety a lot in recent days. This is something very important to me – like my husband and myself, most parents would do any and everything in the world to protect their children, and sadly, one of the things that can be done to protect your child is so easily overlooked. The thought of having a wreck with my children in the vehicle haunts me every time we are driving, but I know that keeping them restrained is the best protection I can provide them while being transported. They know the rules about buckling up and staying buckled, so we don’t have arguments over it, as other parents have told me before that they hate arguing with their kids over buckling up. Unfortunately, there is so much misinformation around this area, and I’d hate for anyone to lose their child/children in a car crash as a result of improper car seat protection, so I wanted to provide some information for parents.

Rear-Facing vs. Forward-Facing
In Missouri, there is NO law that states a child under a year old must be rear-facing. But in Tennessee, there is a law that children under one year old OR under 20 lbs. (regardless if they are over 1 year old or not) must be rear-facing, so if you’re caught in TN in violation of this law, you will most likely get a ticket regardless of Missouri law. However, more important than the law, is the actual protection of your child/children in a car crash, or even something simple as slamming on the brakes.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children remain rear-facing until two years of age, and until the child reaches the maximum height or weight for their car seat, whether under or over two years of age(but over one year old). The reason for this is to protect and support the young and developing child’s head, neck, and spine by distributing the force of the collision by rear-facing. If your child is forward-facing, there are many injuries that can be caused due to the child’s head being thrown forward with impact, and one of the worst injuries is a condition called “atlanto-occipital dislocation”, or internal decapitation, where the skull separates from the spinal cord. And yes, it does and has happened – some people recover, but is generally fatal. (You can read a story of a 2 year old boy who had this happen to him, and thankfully recovered: Boy Suffers from Internal Decapitation ).

Regardless if your child does recover from injuries from a car crash in which they were forward-facing before two years of age, it’s more important to never have your child experience such trauma in the first place if you can avoid it. For me, I turned the first three of my children forward-facing at one year of age, because that’s what I thought was right and legal. When I was pregnant with Cooper, I learned of the AAP’s recommendation and kept him turned until he was 18 months, since he was getting so big. Sure, it can be a nuisance to keep a child turned for that long, but it was more important to me to keep him safe in case of a car wreck. And the chances of you being in a car wreck might be slim, but you have no idea if or when a wreck could happen. Just like having car insurance to protect you financially, you have no idea when you’ll need to have it, but ever so grateful when you do need it. So better to have your child properly restrained as your “insurance”, rather than watch your child suffer injuries or death.

Harness Tips
While I’m discussing child seat safety, there are several things you should know about the harness and how to best protect your child:

Chest Clips: Please know that the chest clips that are part of your child’s 5-point harness car seat are designed to buckle across the chest – not at the neck, abdomen, or even below. With the force of a car wreck, children have been thrown out of their car seats due to the chest clip not in the proper place. It should be buckled and placed at ARMPIT level – anything above can damage the esophagus or trachea or choke them, and anything below (abdomen area) could damage vital organs. So please use the chest clip ON THE CHEST AT ARMPIT LEVEL.

Straps: Make sure that the harness straps are not twisted, and that they are snug over your child’s shoulders – not hanging down, not loose. You should NOT be able to put even one finger under the straps at the shoulder. Also, the straps should be tight enough over the body – use the two-finger rule (only two fingers should be able to slip under the straps at the belly), and you shouldn’t be able to even pinch the strap together after they have been securely buckled in. And please, remove all coats and extra clothing when buckling them in. This give a false sense of being probably buckled in; however, with the force of a crash, your child can still be thrown out of the car seat due the coat or extra clothing being compressed, thus revealing the “slack” in the harness.

In all likelihood, you will probably never experience a car crash with your child, and I hope you never do. But in the day of people texting while driving, drinking and driving, falling asleep, people paying less attention behind the wheel, and such, you can never be too sure if you will be in a wreck; if you are, you will want to protect the ones you love the most. Please feel free to share this post and discuss with others that will be transporting your children – it could save your child’s life.

Child Seat Safety Laws by State

AAP Recommendation on Car Seats

Amercian Academy of Pediatrics Policy on Child Passenger Safety

Thank you to all who served, have served, and continue to serve, including the families who give their loved ones to our United States military. And a special hand-over-heart thank you to those who’ve given their lives to protect our country and our freedoms. Your sacrifices can never be repaid, but your service is greatly admired and appreciated.

And a special shout-out to my little brother, Sergeant First Class Jon A. Brennan, and sister-in-law Sara for their service to our country. We are so very proud of you both.

Happy Memorial Day.

I remember when I was much younger, being told that I would probably not be able to conceive a child after having issues with my ovaries. At the time, which was way before I even thought of having children, I wasn’t too upset or let it get to me. Then, as I got older, it scared me. It was always in the back of my mind that someone wouldn’t want to marry me if they knew that there was a high probability that I couldn’t have children. And then the thought of, “How does that come up in conversation when you’re dating?” I mean, really. It’s not a first-date hot-topic, but it certainly could be a blow to someone with whom you’ve become serious.

When my sister had her first child, a daughter, I was smitten. Overjoyed. Elated. I wanted to care for this baby girl, raise her as my own, and be happy with being her mom. And under other circumstances, all of that did come to fruition. I was a mom. Maybe not biologically, but I was her mom. I was caring for her, raising her, feeding her, changing her diapers, providing for her. I was her mom, and I thank my baby sister for recognizing something in me to be the one to oversee this life of her baby girl, and knowing that she wanted her daughter to have more.

When I unexpectedly became pregnant in the summer of 2003, I was shocked. No, like really puzzled and scared, anxious and nervous. I woke up that morning in a hotel, as we were on a business trip, took a test, not really believing it to show the positive sign. The missed period, the over-tiredness, the weird queasiness – I just chalked it up to stress and whatever else it could’ve been. We bought the test the night before at a store, not really believing that I was pregnant, and I woke up at 5:30 a.m. to take the test.

I started crying when I saw that I was pregnant. I can’t say they were tears of joy at the moment, as I was scared and shocked and worried about caring for a child, especially since I had just resigned from my very good job as a software developer, packed up, moved 4 hours back to my hometown to live with my now-husband, and raise my niece. That’s how it was going to be. I never in my wildest dreams expected the life I was already leading, but I never expected in my wildest dreams TIMES infinity to carry a child.

The story my husband likes to tell now, is when I crawled back in bed, crying, I woke him up to tell him that the test says I’m pregnant and that I’m scared.

“What’s my momma going to think?” I cried.

“Well honey, she’s going to think you hit the jackpot! It’s fine. We will be fine, let’s just go back to sleep.”

I don’t remember much about that morning, I’m sure mostly because I was in a state of bewilderment. Confused, worried, shocked. Have I said how shocked I was? Let me reiterate: I was SHOCKED.

I went to my doctor that was in Springfield, since I had yet switched over to a new doctor since my move, and since we were over in Branson, might as well just get it confirmed while I’m there. My boyfriend (it’s funny to call him that now!) and I were sitting at a restaurant when I got the call from my doctor that, yes, the pregnancy test came back positive.

“Congratulations!” the nurse said on the other line.

Sitting across from my now-husband, I stared blankly, and told the nurse thank you, then hung up the phone.

“We’re having a baby.”

I can still picture in my mind that afternoon at the restaurant. I remember the smirk that came across my husband’s face. Kind of laughing, kind of anxious, moments of thinking about being parents. Of course, my husband already has children, and he’s a bit older than I am, so it would be like starting over for him. Me? Well, I never thought in a million years I’d get pregnant. I’d already settled on the idea of never giving birth, so this was a certain adjustment for my mind as well.

Long story short, we were married a short time later, but not because of the pregnancy as we were already planning on doing the deed, but this pregnancy certainly made it happen sooner. We prayed and prayed over having a healthy baby, and when we found out we were expecting a baby boy, I don’t think my husband could’ve contained his joy nor tears, even if God had commanded him to do so.

After some complications near the end of my pregnancy, we welcomed our 8 lb. 13.5 oz, 21 in. baby boy into this world in March 2004 in the early morning hours. He was our boy. Our sweet boy. The boy my husband had longed to have, and he was finally here. Healthy and chunky, and just…oh gosh. I can’t explain that feeling of seeing my child, my son, that first time. All of that worry, all of that fear, all of that stress that I felt when I first found out I was expecting – I have to laugh at it now. The Lord does provide for His children, and I received more than His ample blessings that morning.

Over the years, we’ve become parents three more times. Each one a true blessing that so many days, I feel completely unworthy of receiving. Each pregnancy, a surprise. Each newborn baby, another rush of overwhelming joy. Each child, watching them grow, a true testament of daily miracles.

I don’t mean to discount my subsequent children’s births, but it was this first pregnancy, the pregnancy that I had long believed would never happen, that played a major role in the mother of five that I am today. I wish I could tell those doctors that said I wouldn’t be able to have children, that while I appreciate their highly educated prognoses of my future non-child-bearing abilities, miracles take over where science ends. And to say we’ve been blessed with the miracles that make up our lives of these days and years, is an understatement.

My children have been my greatest accomplishment in this imperfect life I live, and they are the legacy with which I will leave this world. They are strong, opinionated, funny, loving, temperamental, independent, happy, difficult, entertaining, and so many other adjectives that would make this boring to readers after a while. They are my babies, my loves, my opposites, my exact-sames – they are every thing I never knew I wanted, and beyond every thing I ever imagined. I love them so dearly, and today, with all of their little creations and handwritten notes of love for me and all that I do for them, just made me love them even more. Even if for this one day, they go all out of their way to make me feel special (even with the attitude that my Aubrey likes throw around), I just know this is where I’m supposed to be in life.

A life I never expected to have. A life that exists because of my husband and my children.

It’s been a good Mother’s Day.